Resources

Going through betrayal trauma is like eating seashells. Tough, gritty and probably the cause of some serious stomach pain. But don’t give up. These resources can help. If you prefer one-on-one help, get in touch.

Support Groups

Sex and Relationship Healing – 15+ discussion groups, live Q&As, and more for partners. Check out recordings of previous discussions on their YouTube page.

SMART Recovery Family & Friends – Help for those with loved ones suffering from addiction, including sex addiction. Link goes to the calendar of online meetings.

Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families – A safe, non-judgmental program for people who grew up in dysfunctional homes.

Websites

Christina Bell – Free downloadable worksheets on things like betrayal recovery, anxiety, and emotional regulation.

Tara Brach – Years worth of meditations and talks by a Buddhist psychologist. Her talks brought me peace in my most difficult times.

Bloom for Women – Library of free, self-paced courses for women who’ve experienced betrayal.

Confusion to Clarity – Support, healing, and resources for women in covertly abusive relationships.

Kristin Neff – She’s the world’s leading expert on self-compassion. And you know you could use some of that right now.

Books

Hold Me Tight – I refused to read this book for the longest time because I thought the title and summary sounded dumb. I was the dumb one. It’s all about attachment styles and how they are helping and hurting your relationship (or future relationships).

Attached – A quick, short read about attachment. Helps you figure out what your attachment style is and what that means for you.

Self-Therapy – Ever heard of Internal Family Systems? This book will teach you how to use it on yourself to heal your trauma. Fair warning: It may seem a bit woo-woo at first. Give it a chance.

The Sun – Okay, this is actually a magazine and it has nothing to do with betrayal trauma, but reading it is like curling up with one of those amazing books that heals a part of your soul. It’s an independent, ad-free magazine that “uses words and photographs to evoke the splendor and heartache of being human.”

Podcasts

Helping Couples Heal – Designed to help couples recover and heal from the impact of betrayal trauma. Hear from recovered addicts, partners, and couples as well as from experts in the field of betrayal.

Beyond Bitchy (early episodes) – Everything Vicki Tidwell Palmer does is gold, but I think the early episodes of her podcast are especially helpful for people dealing with betrayal trauma.

Stuff You Should Know – When you’re sick of thinking about betrayal trauma, infidelity, sex addiction, and all that crap, listen to this. Over a decade worth of episodes covering everything from Rosa Parks to LSD.

Videos

Brene Brown – THE expert on courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Her TED talk has been watched over 54 million times, so you know it’s good.

Partners of Sex Addicts Survivor Series – Want to hear from women who have changed their lives since D-Day? This is where it’s at.

Sex and Relationship Healing – In addition to their support groups, they have some really great videos created by a variety of therapists and counselors. Matt Wheeler and Jon Taylor are two of my favorites.